As a child I was really close to my mother - unhealthily close. I always saw my dad as the bad-tempered one. Over the past five years that has changed and I've become very detached from my parents, and I'm not emotionally close to my mom at all. At times now I am seeing her as manipulative, controlling and almost - I don't know - emotionally abusive (towards my dad, although I think as a child I might have experienced some).

Eg: my parents argue a lot, and my mom can latch onto something and pursue it, so that I can now understand why my dad explodes in anger. Like she left towels out for him to dry the dogs after he walked them, and he didn't notice or something. Later he got annoyed because of the towels piled in front of the door. Ok - that's where his annoyance comes first. But then my mom lays into him saying things like "You never say thank you for anything... you're so ungrateful.... why else would I put them there - do you think I'm stupid?"

I used to see my dad as the "bad" one for losing his temper loudly, but now I get really tense when I visit and hear my mom saying these things to him, like just telling him he's bad etc.

As a child I got the silent treatment from my mom at times - the times when I actually needed support the most. It was when I started having intrusive OCD thoughts, and my mom acted like I was doing it on purpose to hurt her.