I'm a little manic right now I think. I say this because EVERYONE I've interacted with has been asking if I'm okay or if I'm on drugs or staying away saying I'm crazy it's kind of funny haha. I feel like I'm ruining my relationships right now. They hate me now. They're scared. They think I'm on drugs. I'M NOT.

I might be going over the edge. I had a bout of psychosis the other night in front of my friends and it was really embarrassing. I don't think I'll ever be able to explain it. This is messed up. I hate this disorder. I hate how I'm feeling right now. I've been like this for a month on and off and there's absolutely no end in sight. IT HAS NEVER LASTED THIS LONG! What an experience. I feel fantastic, it's like I'm in a show. The recorded announcements at the supermarket felt like they were targeting me for a bit before I defeated that thought. I am still in control. I can handle this. It might've gone out of hand a few months ago but I have it this time. They love me at work. I'm doing really well and maybe that's what set me off. Everything is coming together in my life finally and it pushed me over the edge ironically. I don't care. I feel good. But I WILL crash eventually. But if this can last the summer I will be totally okay with it. Then again, this could also escalate further and the fact that I already went psychotic the other night is rather concerning. I can assure you I will NOT be hospitalized this time. I am finally getting a handf on this thing and I will control it. Nothing will stop me.