I comptely understand what everyone is telling me and thank you for who those that have replied to my post. I've not talked to this guy in a year and I dont attend to do so for the rest of my life even though he was my first love, and my soulmate its a bit harder to move on. I'm sure everyone goes through those phases of loosing their first love or their soulmate. I lost both and not only that I lost my best friend that I ever had. Here I am trying to do the right think by talking about the tension, and being angry or trying to resolve the issues, we both were frustrated him mostly taking his anger out on me. I was blamed on mostly of his daily life problems in life and here I am shocked hearing stuff comming from him the man i use to love at one point and now nothing is resolved. The problems will always be there no matter what. Thats what hurts the most that we couldn't resolve anything at all. I always wanted to talk about the problem and issue and when we both had left there wouldn't be so much hate towards each other or reastmeant but he could have never coperated with that. And I just left it as it was. And have him think about the mistakes he's made and hopefully near the future what he's done. I never deserved any of this. I never knew what I did wrong to deserve his abusivness towards me. And never knew how he really felt about me or if he even loved me at all. And what hurts the most is that he took all the advanatage there was. And sometimes i think that i'm the guilty one or did something wrong. Because I always take blame on myself.