Quote:
Originally Posted by magicalprince
Yes I totally relate to that. People say all these things where I tend to get this feeling like "you don't really mean that... you just want me to think you mean it." I don't like thinking like that but I have been let down when I tried to trust people and found out they did not really have my best interest in mind. In my FOO I was also manipulated and controlled a LOT. It has become really hard to trust.
Can I ask, was there a time for you before you had an awareness of the different parts? Did you just get a better sense over time of who is what?
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I started figuring things out when I was 15...and started talking in with a “Hello?”- then Susie said hello right back....yikes! Lol
I remember once at 4 (?) father doing something and a girls voice said “eww she liked that”...I thought it was strange but let it go. In a way I deeply suspected it...and got interested in psychology and MPD back then...so I did a few years of research as a teenager...until the Susie encounter.
At first I would do automatic hand writing because we were so nerdy at the time (still is) instead of sports because life made no sense. I began to notice that I was writing in different styles and the word would pop into my head AFTER I wrote it. After this I tried verbalization and got mind blowing results.
At first we started choosing names, but after 20-30 or so...we are so many....keeping up is a chore so we quit and decided to just name ourselves after the job we do like Angry One, Mechanic, Carpenter, Hillbilly, Pissed,....
It was just a matter of finally looking in to explore what we have spent the last 40 years avoiding.