WIred and tired! I got three hours of sleep last night before waking up with an adrenaline rush again. That said, I think I'm a little more level today but the day is still going on. I tend to escalate in the evenings. I'm upset that I have to work tonight because I really need just a day off to let my neck stop hurting and my mood to possibly stabilize; oh who am I kidding I need a hefty dose of SEROKILL before that'll happen, haha. I e-mailed my therapist to see what she thinks. I'm ruining my relationships with friends, and I'm scaring people. I want it to stop, but I don't want to stop feelin gooooood. I can't wait for therapy this Wednesday HA. It's going to be a wild ride. "OH YOU ARE MOST DEF HYPO MISS 251TURNAROUND". "DAMN RIGHT". Then it's new med time and the monotony returns. I hate that. I feel like taking this to the extreme despite the impending devastation. I don't care if I end up psychotic, no I do, but idk. It's terrifying, psychosis. REALLY SCARY. I hate it. But is it worth feeling good? Who knows. I think things will work out in the end, so there's no worries there. There's a 50% chance that I'll NOT crash from the mania. I can sometimes just float back to normal with the help of meds, but normal sucks, am I right? I know I've done some things these past few days, but I'm SO much more creative and thoughtful. I've been improvising on my guitar like mad (literally). (My username is a reference to my favorite kind of chord progression). I love music. It's one of my biggest passions and mania let's me fulfill my goals. I can make things, despite me beinga novice. I know I can do better than this if I keep at it. If only there were some way to switch this on and off at will. Yeah I'm doing great!