I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Just last week I felt so hopeless after a mixed episode on an AD and thought it would never get better and that I would just give up. I am glad I didn't, though. The world looks a little different outside of that terrible mixed state.
I haven't tried all the things you tried so I cannot imagine how frustrating that is. Not sure what to say about the insurance, that really sucks. Have you mentioned that to the psychiatrist? They would want you to stay on meds and could maybe find a way to help?
Also, there are some places that specialize in treatment resistant depression (example Emory psychiatry in Atlanta, although I realize it's unlikely you happen to be around there) and you haven't tried all options like ECT , right? Of course I am not endorsing anything, just saying I have seen stories of people at the end of their rope who finally got what they needed and are so glad they held out. I hope you find something that works and feel better.
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Originally Posted by Só leigheas
I'm pretty sure that I'm quitting therapy. I've gone two weeks without it and I'm not better or worse. I haven't changed one way or the other. Kinda leads me to believe I don't need it and proves my point that it has long since quit helping. My insurance still won't cover my meds, so I haven't been taking any; next Thursday I think will be my last psychiatry appointment. What's the point if I'm not on any medication?
None of this means that I think I'm doing really well. In fact, I'm well aware that I'm pretty much a mess. I'm only saying that these things I've been doing that are supposed to help have failed in doing so. Not that my T or pdoc are the ones who failed, but that I did. CBT, DBT, trauma counseling, talk therapy; antipsychotics, antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds... I've failed at it all. Maybe I just need to live with myself or die by myself. "Toughen up buttercup" and all that.
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