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Originally Posted by toomanycats
I am all of these things, and therapy didn't help me until I made intentional decisions to truly let my therapist see what was going on and to be very honest about my thoughts and feelings - even when they are embarrassing or go against my urge to self-protect with concealing. It's really hard, and it's a decision I have to make over and over and over.
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I did this, and got shamed and rejected. How to tell a competent T from one who is not is apparently not a skill I had going into therapy. I self-revealed too much and ignored/dismissed/invalidated my own urge to self-protect. Perhaps not surprising, then, that I did not get better? But I was clueless and kept going back for more (trauma), convinced it was all my fault in the sense of my issues. Until that "logic" was just too illogical, even for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by starfishing
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Fortunately my current therapy is a stark contrast to those experiences--my current therapist consistently notices and draws upon the emotional undercurrents in whatever content I bring to the table, doesn’t blame me for things that are his responsibility, doesn’t get distracted by things he finds superficially intriguing, and recognizes that therapy is a long process and that openness and vulnerability are hard work.
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This sounds very good, like you are working with someone who knows what they are doing! Good for you, and for them.
In my case, I seemed not to have a clue how to find someone who could really help, and kept ignoring (not seeing) the signs that I was being hurt, as I had learned to hide them from myself and others growing up. I was just a person, with a history, looking for "help" and no pretense of expertise. It's great that some within the profession know what they are doing, but a profession in general that does nothing about those within the profession who ignore or don't see the signs that they are hurting people, has serious flaws, in my view. It's too much to expect from consumers that are -- or maybe experienced as -- half-people that we will see the harm that is being done to us. An inability to see that is exactly part of the problem that I went into therapy with. And how many others, who aren't on PC? Who is asking them?
Once again, glad to see the article, even if the general view of people whom some therapists experience as "half-people" is somewhat derogatory.