Thats EXACTLY what its like for me. When these impulses come up its a fear I will act against my will.There is no plan. Its just a fear that I will act impulsively then an impulse to do so that I fight. I have had many Ocd themes. When that stuff happened with peers it just jumpstarted my impulses. The one with hurting kids sexually was my first Ocd theme. Others have come and gone but that one remains. It seems like Ocd but also in a way it doesnt because no one else that I know with Ocd thinks like me and two as a child i have acted on impulses as a child and people with Ocd dont
act. These impulses can be towards anyone. Like i said even the dog.The major thing that makes me fear this is something bad is at age 8 I began being interested in children and woman. I would look at their body innapropriately and found something emotional them. By 11 I realized I was interested in younger children. That has never gone away but I dont wish to touch them or anything. Its just like the attraction stuck. I dont know how that happens and why. How did sexual encounters with peers effect you? I was a willing participant as far as I can remember.