Toomanycats - thanks. That's a good point (about deciding to let your T see what's going on). Really hard... especially when *I* can't always see it. I think that's part of the problem...

Starfishing - wow. You sound like you've got such a good handle on what was happening in your past therapy, and such a great (skilled!) therapist now. Do you mind if I ask what type of therapy you're doing now? I'm curious (because it's come up for me a couple times) if it's more psychoanalytical? It just *seems* like the psychoanalysts may (maybe?!?) have a better handle on this stuff, but maybe that's just the impression I have from reading (I've never seen one in person). Thanks!

I think though that the point you (and others) have made that being open/vulnerable is hard work is important. I think that, with some of my past therapists, there's been... reactions from them about things that I say. Reactions that make me feel either not heard, or judged, or not good in some way... it's *really* hard to continue to try being open, especially with even harder material, after that!

Stopdog - 100% agree!

SalingerEsme - Maybe the hyphen was a typo, and they meant "nobody"? I'm not sure though... the idea that the more important the therapist became, the less they were treated as a person... seems off to me? I don't know... when I think about pulling back from the therapists that I've seen, it was NOT because they were important to me, but because I was completely freaked out. I was *scared* - so I pulled back and limited interaction as a way of self-protecting. And, part of why I was scared was because they all seemed very pushy... they didn't do a good job of respecting boundaries when I said that I didn't want to talk about stuff, and I felt like I was going to get pushed into things that would make me decompensate, with no real support, help, or understanding.