I'm pretty sure that I'm quitting therapy. I've gone two weeks without it and I'm not better or worse. I haven't changed one way or the other. Kinda leads me to believe I don't need it and proves my point that it has long since quit helping. My insurance still won't cover my meds, so I haven't been taking any; next Thursday I think will be my last psychiatry appointment. What's the point if I'm not on any medication?

None of this means that I think I'm doing really well. In fact, I'm well aware that I'm pretty much a mess. I'm only saying that these things I've been doing that are supposed to help have failed in doing so. Not that my T or pdoc are the ones who failed, but that I did. CBT, DBT, trauma counseling, talk therapy; antipsychotics, antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds... I've failed at it all. Maybe I just need to live with myself or die by myself. "Toughen up buttercup" and all that.