Hi Sinking,

My heart goes out to you because I have been in this spot before and had no idea what to do. When you feel like you have no control of your mind or life situation, then you want to channel it into something. To be honest for years I looked at some life stressors I had as an adolescent as triggers, and I think they were, but I also think I had an undiagnosed mood disorder and maybe other issues. Something in my brain snapped and I was dealing with it through an eating disorder. Therapy didn't help (think I needed a different technique), and I didn't try any meds. I wish I had figured out what was really going, because I managed to recover completely from my eating disorder, but struggled for another 15 years before realizing I needed to see a psychiatrist. It seems you are not connecting with your therapist. I had this problem and gave up but finding the right therapist and technique is crucial! You can totally do this, I have been recovered for 10 years and never looked back. Also, mindfulness stuff like meditation, distracting myself from my thoughts and thought stopping were things that helped me. Analyzing my thoughts even more for "why" was not personally useful to me, since it was never about the food to begin with. I wish you a complete recovery.