@vafhj:

I totally get it, thanks for explaining. Yeah, it reminds me of the idea that a person has to hit a 'rock bottom' of some sort first, before they can start to rise up again. I think that's true in a lot of cases. Was true for me but at this stage I haven't really risen all that far, ha. Mind you it's not over until the 'chubby' lady sings.

Maybe it's all about trying to quell the anger when it arises and not much else - because that's the pain.