I don't think it's a disorder either. I think he just doesn't understand the issue. We have discussed it before, and his attitude is, "What's wrong with saying they're black, if they're black?" Does the person's skin color or sexual orientation have any bearing on the story? If not, then why bring it up? That's my question.

Oh, and the old cliche about "I'm not racist. Some of my best friends are black." Yes, that applies here too. My husband has several black friends, including the guy who I would say is probably his best friend. He isn't *meaning* to be racist. He just doesn't get it.

My mother once told me that when I was a very small child, we were out in public, and apparently I said something about "See that black girl over there? I like her dress." The girl's mother was angry because I had identified her daughter by race, and she confronted my mother. "You're teaching her prejudice." Mom couldn't see the problem. "Well, by golly, she is black."

Nowadays, I do get what the other mother was saying. If they had been a white family, I would have simply said, "that girl over there." Why was I specifying her color? But if there were several girls over there, and I wanted to identify which one of them was wearing the dress I liked, then I don't see where what I said was offensive. Anyone who does see a problem in it is welcome to educate me. That's why I started this thread. I'm looking for dialogue, not a fight.