Thanks Cinnamon_Roll. Very interesting insight into how you learned to adapt to not being able to process emotions well as a child! And, ugh.... that sucks that your ex-T thought you were purposefully refusing to discuss the anger. Isn't that just the silliest feeling, trying to figure out how to discuss something that you don't actually feel in the moment? My T has broached anger a couple times, but always backs off when I tell her that I'm not sure...

re: Jumping in... my T has told me that she notices that I get annoyed when she interrupts (ya think?) - which is a little surprising, because she's also told me that she can't read my emotions at all. (As an example, just a week or two ago she mentioned that when she puts my upcoming appointments in to the calendar, she's never sure if I actually want them scheduled! I don't understand this at all... I've never canceled on her or talked about leaving, even though I HAVE discussed whether psychoanalysis might be a better fit. It's frustrating - because again - it feels like this pattern of a T starting to feel "not good enough" playing out!)

Jumping in because of excitement makes sense, but isn't very helpful! I'm glad your T is giving you room to process... mine is trying to.

It's funny though, I asked her last week if she comes from a family that interrupts and talks over each other. (My family doesn't - we wait until someone pauses before jumping in). On reflection, she said yes, and that when her husband first met her family, he found them a little intimidating because they were verbally boisterous with everyone talking at once (which would drive me crazy!).

Then, she said that I know more about her than any of her other clients (?!?!) which seems completely bizarre. I don't know much at all, and asking about how her family talks didn't feel overly personal - it felt like a meta-conversation about how people talk, and why each of us has certain expectations in our conversations, and why she's doing what she's doing, even though she apparently can see that I'm annoyed

Hmm... that makes me wonder if that's part of the "awkwardness" she's feeling. If she's used to people interrupting her back, and I don't... maybe it makes me look even MORE reticent than I actually am?!