The woman who lived in this house, she was cared for when she was dying from cancer by her ex-husband and his second wife. I think if my husband was seeing someone else and I got interested in someone else I'd not be in the same "home" for my ex-husband to come home to.

I guess your new friend was only a fair weather friend (like your husband's girlfriend?) and you should work on this crisis and getting your husband and your affairs finished before you try again. Split from your husband for good instead of letting him use you in the future like it sounds like he is doing.