BTW, I know I've said a lot, but all I really want is the hypothetical situation I thought of 7 years ago to come true. Like, I still believe that in order to recover, I need a social life. Honestly, this dilemma reminds me of some online friend's dilemma. I know she's a lot happier now, but I recall that around this time last year, she used to rant about how she believed that all she wanted was a girlfriend and until then, all the coping mechanisms she had would only relieve her problems somewhat. (I believe her because it seemed like she was unhappy because she didn't have a love life, not that she wanted a love life because she was unhappy. She had been wanting to be in a relationship ever since she was 12, that's why I believe her.) I can't relate fully because I'm not super-duper in a rush to be in a relationship and I feel like lusting after online people is a relatively satisfying substitute, but I'm just saying that I know what I want because I've wanted this for years and that I believe that until I have a solid social life, any coping mechanisms will be just that. You know how ghosts haunt people because they haven't found their closure? I'm just like that.