Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2
Buying a vehicle, House, boat, or some other $$$ stuff...how?
We need another vehicle and we are torn...let’s list all the arguments:
A) let’s get a new car...we never had one
B) no! We are nutz...we can’t make payments forever...we might crack and lose our job!
C) we can pay just a bit and fix it up
D) I‘m sick and tired of working on cars...anything we buy will be a pos
E) I dont want a car
F) Buying new would be too flashy for us
G) We need something that we aren’t scared of scratching
H) It’s a waste of money
I) I like the fire red truck
J) I’m not sure
K) I’m scared
L) 
Anybody with this condition had any luck with long term financial commitments?
We are horrible with relationships and the burden of having to be financially responsible scares us because life usually does an about face unexpectedly.
Thoughts? |
maybe since you know alot about your system you can ask inside and see who is the one that deals with financial stuff...
example when I was little my parents would give me an allowance. my alters had to deal with making decisions on what to buy and so on. turned out that the alter who would get rewarded with money or small gifts for doing what abusers wanted them to do. this rewards to keep silent was a bribe yes but it taught my alters about how to manage what to do with this paid for the abuse money... as I grew of course the rewards got bigger in order to insure my silence, and willingness to continue doing what they wanted....
my point is most people with DID have an alter who has had to manage the rewards and punishments that came with the traumatic abuses that caused the DID to begin with... these alters sense of agency is to follow the abusers code of do not tell or else...sometimes these alters are called gate keepers, protectors, bankers, treasurers, workers, cashiers, and other names too...
maybe you can ask inside and find out which of your alters have managed the punishment reward system that your abusers had you doing when you were little.
maybe these alters can help out so that there isnt so much fighting about the financial stuff. in other words go back to what ever system of dealing with money that works so well before.
arguments are gonig to happen but maybe with your "gate keeper"( or what ever that alter is called in you) help things will go a bi more smoothly.