Well have you had any childhood sexual abuse? I used to believe sexuality was a very black and white thing. It really isnt and for some more than others. You dont act so thats good. Although viewing porn or embracing fantasies by looking only drives us closer to acting. In the end though would you blame yourself if you had diabetes, or a heart condition? Its the same. Not your fault and Im sure you dont like the way you are. You didnt say hmmm when i get older i think i will like teenagers. So be kind to you.