Sorry to hear about your situation, but you posting here at least means you've taken the first step and want to change your circumstances.

I think others are on point, try to tackle the alcohol abuse first and drastically. Addictions are so dangerous and could make things so much worse. Please go to a support group and take action.

From there, I think give yourself targets on what you want to achieve. Set goals and create a plan to strive for. It's not easy, but if you acknowledge and know what you need to do, and you're prepared to push yourself to achieving those targets even in the moments you don't want to, you can work towards a better direction.

I'm going to post a video about things I've done in my own life to try and turn things around on Youtube on Thursday, so if you're interested then I'll be happy to share a link. They're drastic changes in my life, but it's helped me cope significantly better.