I say this, because I broke up a few days ago and as I reread our past texts, I see where she was reaching out to me, and I failed to act soon enough. By that I mean go to counseling and explore why I turn inward, rather than express myself. She left me five days ago and the past few days have been shattering.


A brief explanation of us and our past, we share a similar past of sexual exploration by her father and me a couple of close family friends. She turned to cutting herself, I closed in on myself, shutting people out. But we had a good emotional connection, but as time progressed I turned inward several months after living together. Now yes there is more, but that's for another time.

Eventually, like 60 days, she turned that connect towards a coworker who was there for her and listened and now 6 months later she moved out. I moved her to her new place and she has totally stopped all communication except for her new debit card, she was to get high and have sex with him I guess, so I read in a text to her BFF.


I know she kissed his dude at work, let him touch her ( I am lead to believe she may have even encouraged him to touch her at work) and now I feel I am the one who failed here.....

I tried to timeline all the text we had and other indicators, but IDK why I am doing this, as I can not trust her any more. I feel so utterly alone and shattered over this.