I actually don't agree that it would be always wrong to text about illness or death. It would depend on the scenario and the relationship between the people involved. There are times when a text message could be the best way to show support.

I texted via facebook to a cousin to say my boyfriend had taken a bad turn. That cousin texted me back to let her know if there were anything she could do. She is my cousin by marriage. We are not so close that we call each other at the drop of a hat. But our friendship is warm. Her text to me was exactly the nicest thing for her to do. Plus I initiated the texting. I don't want to have phone conversations with every relative about my boyfriend's failing health.

I don't prefer phone calls. I prefer what shows thoughtful consideration. A text can be a thoughtful way of not being intrusive. That's not why my sister texted me.

My sister did not text me because she thought "Rose might not want me calling her up right now." My sister knows I have no family for thousands of miles around and am very alone caring for my Sig. other of many years. My sister has a pattern of avoiding actual live contact with me during difficult times. I read another article that said some people text because they want to protect themselves from having to hear the pain in another's voice, if they called. I think that's more what is going on here.

There are sisters who are best friends . . . and this sister and I are not. I accept that. But we have not been estranged. There is no feud going on. This is not normal, even for us. She hasn't talked with me in months. That isn't normal either. And I don't know what brought this about.

Unfortunately there is one thing I do know. There was a time when she treated me differently - more like a friend and confident. There was a time when she kept tract of what was happening with me and kept me informed of what was happening with her. Last year she sold her house and moved without even telling me or sending me her new address. I used to have a good income. At one time it looked like I was going to have a lucrative career. I have no children. Back then she said that she would look after me if I became incapacitated. I don't mean she would have me move in with her. But she would be my P.O.A. and would see to my burial, if I died before her. She was the sole beneficiary of my life insurance. (And still is.) She said her son would step up if she, herself, were unable. It seems to me that that changed when it became clear that I would not be accumulating any notable wealth for my nephews to inherit. There is more than enough insurance to bury me and pay expenses of whoever does.

She told me one time about some friends of hers who "had nothing to show for their lives." They had a nice home, but no money in the bank. At that time she thought I was headed for real material success in life. She referred to "average people" as being "local yokels." In that category she included people like "school teachers" - people who would probably never have much money. I never took that talk seriously. I never thought she'ld apply that thinking to me. I guess that was pretty stupid on my part. When people tell you who they are - Believe them.

It kind of makes me want to chuckle as I recall stuff like I just mentioned. It's not like there weren't signs that my sister was a person prone to a certain shallowness. What was I thinking? It's not right to be disappointed in people for being who they are. That comes from me wanting people to be who I want them to be, which is wrong on my part. She's got her good points. People are complicated mixtures of their better natures and their baser selves . . . as am I.