Hi MajorGiles,

I can not say how you feel right now, but about 4 years ago I went through a similar experience. I lost my fiance and it did not go down well at all. I went into a deep depression shutting myself down before she broke things off with me. I couldn't emotional support her anymore, and she found support through other people. Sadly it was through other men. I felt like she was punishing me for something. I even got back together with her for like a few months, but after a while she went and did the same thing.

My mind would spin round and round about what she was doing with other men, and why I was not the one anymore. My thoughts would be obsess over everything and anything in what had happened after we finally separated. I became a shut in for months. I would take sedatives, and just go to sleep. It lead me to a very dark place in my life that only now that I have been able to really talk about.

I had to get help to get through it. I had to find a support group, and someone who could guide me through my feelings. I was a wreck, but in reality what was happening to me was that I was in grieving. Then I went into mourning that I couldn't shake off.

Soon after I broke up with my fiance I knew that the best thing for me to do was to destroy everything that I could think that somehow made me think of her. I removed her from my phone, facebook, and so forth. I didn't want her ghost haunting me.

I know I wrote a great amount, and that I can't give you a direct fix for the situation you are in. But if you ever need to talk you can alway message me. I also want to say that I'm glad that you came to the forums, and that it takes great courage to talk about this.