That may well be the smartest lesson I can draw from this. Thank you for the clarity of that insight.

I don't want to keep going through this. Whether she's callous, or I'm just too easily aggrieved, kind of doesn't matter. (I think both are true.) It is taking way too much time for me to recover from these incidents. She's just someone I need to be very guarded toward.

Sometimes it's best to give up on having a bond with someone. I won't be losing anything that wasn't already lost long ago. I've been nurturing an illusion based on a delusion. I'm afraid it's not the only one either.

I want to stay in bed and do nothing. I misspent an awful amount of effort.