Thank you!

I hope one day to have the strength and healing to stand in the face of it.

Your post brought something to my mind.

When my boys were young, 5 and 2, we were visiting my parents. The boys were being boys and I had to correct them and this happened in front of my dad.

I did swat a bottom and use my stern voice, but it was followed by a hug and explaining why I did it.

My dad saw that and told me that when I disciplined them, I needed to pull my affection away from them until they earned it back.

I remember, now, my heart feeling very heavy from what he said. I would never do that to my babies, but he did it to me.

I believe that is where this is coming from. I don't know just yet how to stop it, but the connection feels good to know.