Subconscious bias is what your describing. Often dismissed because it isn't intentionally derogatory or intended, but it's incredibly common. Most people have it in one way or another.

I am occasionally biased against other women in certain situations, it's a difficult habit to break that requires acknowledgement first.

Since the Starbucks thing I suspect alot more companies will be requiring their staff complete some kind of course to raise awareness in their staff.

How to address it with your husband I am not entirely sure.
Hopefully as general awareness is raised, so will his own.