im not married, never have been, so maybe im not the one to answer your post, but i just wanted to say somethng.
for me, having bipolar is a very personal and private thing. i dont want anyone to know about it and i especially dont want people to talk to me about it in real life.
i have one friend who knows, simply cuz he is very observant. he once mentioned something like, blaming the way i was acting toward him on bipolar... i was super pissed! its just a very sensitive and personal issue. especially if there is denial and defensiveness.
even though i have a wall of steel guarding my insecurities, sometimes a comment gets through and stabs me.
i dont know if that makes any sense in your situation...