Your story is fascinating to me. I really respect your decision not pursue a sexual relationship with either a man or a woman. It seems that you either have given up masturbation or want to give that up for ethical reasons. I'm not sure if I'm interpreting this correctly but it seems to me that you don't agree with how porn is made so you're giving it up even though you feel a fairly strong urge to use porn.

At the risk of making this all about me, I want to talk a bit about myself because it informs how I see you. I'm a male virgin. I want to delay having sex until I'm married for religious/ethical reasons. I'm attracted to women. There is some ambiguity in my mind because I haven't actually been intimate with a woman. I masturbate. I seldom use porn. I have an aversion to porn for a couple of reasons. Part of it is that I don't feel I have a moral right to look at a naked woman or man just for my own pleasure. Part of it is that I find the porn industry to be extremely harmful to society. This is all my own thinking so I realize others disagree and I'm not here to debate anyone.

I want to get married but there are issues of finding the right person and being able to afford a place to live. There are some women I've talked to, who share my values and showed some interest in me. It hasn't worked out for me yet.

When I talk about my life, some people are quite understanding and some are surprised. What I can tell you is that you're not responsible for how other people feel about you. Furthermore, you're the best judge of whether your behavior or your feelings are either troubling you or helping you function. If you feel troubled, you probably need to find some resource to help. If you feel you're functioning well, there's no compelling need to change anything.