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Originally Posted by growlycat
We are social creatures all, of us. We are wired that way. Is being addicted to another person really possible? I don’t think so.
I think it is a t freaking out about the responsibility she might be feeling. I don’t think you are asking more of your t than anyone else here. Your t needs to manage her own anxiety.
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Thank you. That is an interesting viewpoint. I think my T was referring to my pattern of going from one T to another for so many years. I have read about addiction to people but can't remember what book or articles.
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Originally Posted by weaverbeaver
I think the word addiction has negative connotations, so I am glad it was your word and not your ts originally.
My t has suggested I was addicted to my ex because of the language I used around our relationship.
Tell me Rainbow? How do you feel about her saying you are addicted to her and therapy?
I sense that mAybe there is some shame there?
I would like to add that why wouldn’t we be addicted to therapy and I would say that it’s completely normal to want more of the positive feelings therapy brings, the attachment and connection, especially if we have attachment wounds. Experiencing a positive relationship would bring about the highs associated with addictions. Gabor mate often associates addiction and connection.
I would ask t what her meaning behind this word addiction is and is using it in a shaming way?
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Thank you. Well, one thing for sure. My T never means to say anything in a shaming way. That's not the way she does therapy. I'm annoyed because she's bringing it up NOW when I've mostly been focusing on my physical pain and how it's affecting me. I know what she means about the word but don't get WHY she wants it to be a framework so she can help me. What is Gabor mate? Is that a typo?
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Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie
How about instead of addiction you have an unmet need that is being fulfilled in therapy. The goal should be to get you to a place where you can find that kind of fulfillment outside of therapy. Most likely it is a young part of you and not your best adult self that is trying to get this need met.
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Thanks. I've seen many Ts and that's what they all said except for the T preceding my current T. I seem to still want to fulfill that need. Now that I have this chronic pain, maybe I'm depending on T too much. It bothers me that she wants to discuss it now, and is using the word addiction, though the word doesn't bother me as much as her timing.
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Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
You said you felt "addicted" a few min before the end of session.
She said "it's important to talk about addiction."
That sounds like standard therapy speak.
When you bring up a new idea just before the end of session, the therapist is trained to wrap up on time but tell you that they've heard you and assure that you can explore your idea next time. I don't think she specifically thinks addiction is a big deal for you or she'd have brought it up herself by now.
"Addiction" just seems like another way of expressing the discomfort that you have said you felt (and lots of us feel) about the primacy of the therapeutic relationship in your life and the longing for something it cannot deliver. That feeling is maybe heightened during an especially difficult time like grief or illness. I suspect your T means to validate you by using your word but is not implying anything more.
Remember Mister Rogers' closing theme song? "I'll be back when the week is new, and I'll have more ideas for you, you'll have things you'll want to talk about, I will too..."
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Thanks, FJ. I want to clarify. I did NOT say the word "addicted" in my session. T used it at the end of the session first. I then told her I've thought in the past that I was addicted to therapy. Mr. Rogers!! I watched a YouTube recently that made me cry. I watched him when my kids were young and loved him!
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Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist
Here's a PsychologyToday article on being addicted to thoughts (or in your case, therapy) So yes I would say it's definitely possible to be addicted to anything as it is able to give you an escape from your painful environment. I am addicted to daydreaming/thinking. Some people are addicted to music, some to drugs, some to people, some to therapy, some to books, some to sex, etc. |
Thank you. I'll read that article.
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Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
I think the word addiction usually has a negative meaning, so not surprising it may raise concern, or at least curiosity. She probably just wanted to see if this is something you want to discuss in more detail.
I think that people can and do get addicted to other people, or the relationship, experience, etc. Everything can get addictive if it is done excessively, has negative consequences, yet we use it as an escape and don't want to stop or moderate. I was there myself in the past with people once and then it was very hard to shake it. Why is it important when someone is in distress or pain? Because often addictions (whether to a substance or other forms of excessive preoccupation/behavior) develop or expand exactly when we are suffering and try to manage or counter the stress or pain. This may or may not be your case, but how it frequently works.
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Thank you. That is a valid explanation as to why my T is bringing it up now. I'll have to ask her next week.