Quote:
Originally Posted by *Laurie*
I have posted to you earlier this week and at the risk of repeating myself I'm going to say pretty much the same thing. That is, from your posts I believe you have self-destructive issues going on. And when people are engaging in self-destructive behavior they often keep pushing the envelope with people who are close to them...which is another form of being self-destructive.
You are very fortunate to be married to a person who cares enough about you to request that you stop walking until you find out why you've fallen. Many husbands wouldn't pay the least mind to whether their wife was falling, or walking, or not walking, or even if and when she has a doctor's appointment scheduled. I'm wondering why you are, so to speak, "biting the hand that feeds you"? In other words...what is your self-defeating behavior all about? I believe that you need to make wiser choices about some parts of your life. If you cannot make better choices, discussing things with your therapist would be smart.
I will also let you know that I'm not going to reply to any more of your posts until you see the neurologist, because I've said all I have to say about your situation.
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I do have a history of self-destructive behavior. I had anorexia in college. When it was really bad, I was exercising (mostly running) 4-5 hours a day. I used to cut, but I stopped that as I know my husband would notice and make me get help. Sometimes, I still feel the urge though. I think right now I am in a bit of a mixed episode...ugh! Sometimes going high, other times depressed and wishing I wouldn't wake up after going to sleep at night. I am under a lot of stress, and of course, self-destructive behavior is my go-to way of dealing with stress. I need to go another way. I love reading but am not able to focus to read. I really like putting together puzzles, but my office is a mess; I can't set up a folding table in there. I would have to shut the door because we have 3 cats, and they would have a ball with a jigsaw puzzle. Right now, I AM working on organizing my office and paring down my books to sell a good amount to the used book store. I own over so many books, I will never be able to read them all in my lifetime. I used to do latch-hook, maybe I should get back into that or try one of those stress coloring books for adults.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD
Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,
There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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