I'm approaching 70 now. Both of my parents have been gone now for many years. And in fact, since I grew up as an only child with an elderly extended family, every family member I ever knew has now been gone for many years. I am married. But we have no children & I'm a pretty thoroughly reclusive old goat. So no friends or even acquaintances of any consequence... by choice. (It works for me. But I don't recommend it for others.)

I'm sorry you are experiencing so much grief over your loss and I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find a path to deep abiding peace within. Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of coping with grief & loss:

https://psychcentral.com/grief/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-kin...grieve-a-loss/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/on-grie...-coping/?all=1

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/succe...ng-with-grief/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/respon...ing-with-loss/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/health...avigate-grief/

I would also like to share with you my personal preference for coping with difficult emotions. It is a practice referred to as compassionate abiding. Compassionate abiding is a technique that comes out of the Buddhist tradition. However, here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

My best wishes to you...