Big hugs... I have been where you are right now. It's actually hard for me to respond, because I know that hell. My ex-T taught me what gaslighting was (by gaslighting the crap out of me over...and over...and over). That seems to be what this T is doing with you.

With my ex-T, I learned that whatever he said would be, expect the opposite -- the more he promised, the more likely I'd get the opposite of what was promised. It's an agonizing thing - because I wanted to believe him every time.

I do hope you can have the strength and courage to do whatever you feel is right for you. HUGS.