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Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux
I average about once a week, sometimes more sometimes less. Usually I ask him not to reply, to avoid misunderstandings/disappointing responses but sometimes I ask him to confirm receipt and sometimes I ask him for a response.
I've learnt over the years that telling the therapist what you need from them is the best way to reduce the risk of hurt.
ETA - to answer your question your needs are totally normal. It does indicate he's not massively experienced with clients who have out of session contact needs. That's not necessarily a bad thing if he's willing to work with it, but I think it makes it doubly important that you have a discussion together where the boundaries are clearly laid out.
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Thank you for reassuring me that I’m normal. He is a psychodynamic therapist specializing in relationship issues so I’d assume he’s dealt with attachment issues before, but I guess I’m not sure. He has pretty clear boundaries around email written in the introductory info he gave me when we first met. He specifically says he’ll respond Mon-Thurs during working hours. I sort of boldly (for me anyway) asked why he won’t respond on weekends as that seems to be when I need him most. I already understand that he deserves a break from work and shouldn’t be required to be there for me 24/7, but was interested in hearing how he’d respond. I was surprised that he seemed uncomfortable with that question and I even asked him if my question made him uncomfortable to which he replied, “yes,” saying that no one had ever asked him that before. He almost seemed like he started to talk himself into saying that there may be a possibility that he’d make an exception for me, but I felt uncomfortable with that and changed the subject. I’m not sure he would ever really do that, but I know he thinks I have “relational trauma” as he calls it and am very independent, not comfortable asking for help, etc, so maybe that’s why.