Quote:
Originally Posted by Lrad123
Thank you for reassuring me that I’m normal. He is a psychodynamic therapist specializing in relationship issues so I’d assume he’s dealt with attachment issues before, but I guess I’m not sure. He has pretty clear boundaries around email written in the introductory info he gave me when we first met. He specifically says he’ll respond Mon-Thurs during working hours. I sort of boldly (for me anyway) asked why he won’t respond on weekends as that seems to be when I need him most. I already understand that he deserves a break from work and shouldn’t be required to be there for me 24/7, but was interested in hearing how he’d respond. I was surprised that he seemed uncomfortable with that question and I even asked him if my question made him uncomfortable to which he replied, “yes,” saying that no one had ever asked him that before. He almost seemed like he started to talk himself into saying that there may be a possibility that he’d make an exception for me, but I felt uncomfortable with that and changed the subject. I’m not sure he would ever really do that, but I know he thinks I have “relational trauma” as he calls it and am very independent, not comfortable asking for help, etc, so maybe that’s why.
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You're welcome, I would just add that "may be a possibility that he would make an exception" is just way too fuzzy and vague for this type of work in my opinion and I would seek clarity on exactly what you can expect and when.
Well done for challenging him, I imagine that wasn't easy and I am glad he admitted he was uncomfortable. I think that congruence is important, though he really needs to make a clear, collaborative decision with you about what out of session contact will look like for you, and avoiding the subject isn't going to help either of you. Good luck, it sounds like you have a good idea of your needs and how to ask for them, even though it's difficult for you.