You are absolutely right. The problem right now is handling the loneliness. If it means I become a slut then fine, I won't be as lonely at least.
I read what I just wrote several times. Gross! That's not me and it is not healthy!
I didn't go running or walking.
Loneliness is crushing me and I'm apparently still at least some manic. I need a cuddle buddy to sleep with but not have sex. Don't suggest a pet because I can't be responsible for another life right now.
I do need to be discerning. I need a strong woman that works out with me sometimes and loves to stay active in all four corners of being: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Morning sex is a huge plus.
I'm very mixed up and that brief moment of clarity just now was both good and depressing at the same time. Odds are she doesn't exist.