Quote:
Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
This is one of my all time favorite threads. The posts are so useful to me in understanding what's wrong in my relationship with my psychologist- who is a big fan of highlighting how artificial therapy is and yet worries that the space doesn't always feel safe to me. I don't quite dare send him the article , bc he will dismiss it as me trying to speak without speaking in my own voice , but it still gives me a way of grasping what the dynamic is partially. My aversion to closeness definitely stems from the idea he doesn't take the relationship seriously enough in general ( not just with me, but how he defines his work). I am brokenhearted over therapy, and can't find my T in some important sense and feel like I am drowning in the process. I don't think he understands my world/ universe.
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There are two concepts that I think may point to how I am drowning and brokenhearted, still. I'm not looking to therapy for help right now, but I have an IRL support group as well as PC and another one online. I guess maybe I'm trying to talk about or explain my universe in the hope that somebody might understand somehow. Ugh. So frustrating. So sad.
One is the concept of "psychache" which was referenced in a recent blog post on another forum in response, partially, to the recent high profile
Another concept is that of
which is a feeling or idea I came up with on my own (I think) and tried to describe to a therapist maybe 12 years ago. I also looked it up and found it online.
Together those two concepts make a lot of sense to me about what is still still "wrong" with me. But because the feelings/ideas are so painful and triggering, even to therapists apparently, it's hard to talk about them, to get "on land" so to speak, and not drown.
Maybe these concepts makes sense in your universe, too? Or not. Either way, I'd be interested in talking with you further if you want to PM me.
I wonder if maybe there isn't a need for a peer support group to help deal with these things, other people who kind of understand, even if we don't have any direct ways of helping? At least we could "sit with" each other, and that might be calming and help get some of these difficult feelings onto "land", or something? Maybe it takes building out some land, or a bridge, or something, IDK.