Hello AndyanaJones: I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I've never been into porn myself. But I know, from reading posts here on PC, what a devastating condition porn addiction can be. You mentioned you're over 4 months clean. That's great! You didn't mention if you're seeing any mental health professionals... perhaps a counselor, a therapist or a psychologist. If not, that may be something to consider if you can. I myself am just an old man. So I don't think I'm the person you seek.

Here are links to 2 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of porn addiction, that may be of interest:

https://pro.psychcentral.com/pornogr...nis-phd/?all=1

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex-a...-dissociation/

My best wishes to you...