I mean, sure. But... I think there's something missing here. The psychodynamic therapy is really about using the relationship as a means of healing (if I understand correctly).

Not everyone can do that. Even if they're showing up, trying, and working hard. That's one of the reasons that people end up in therapy, because they're not able to really connect with others, for example.

I was talking about my experiences in therapy years ago, and a friend pointed out that most people get "into" the relationship with their therapist quickly and easy, and move on to the hard work of whatever they're working on. But, for me, the "work" might actually be establishing that relationship. Learning to trust enough to be myself and experience emotions with my therapist. Being able to connect. All that stuff... Her perception was, "Maybe for you that might be 90% of the effort/time in therapy... maybe THAT'S what you need to do, then the rest will go much more smoothly and quickly."

In that case, it can look like I'm not really doing the work. I look resistant and like I hide things from my T. But it's not because I'm not TRYING. It's because I'm not at a point where I feel like the relationship is real, or sturdy enough to lean on it. I don't HAVE the connection yet. And, in my case, I KNOW that getting into "my stuff" is extremely destabilizing to my life - I've done it before, and it was a huge mess. It would be incredibly stupid of me to try to jump in to the deep end before I know that T is capable of throwing me a life jacket or something.