My county case manager called me and I explained to her why I called and didn't leave message twice the other day when I was having the extreme behavior of anger and anxiety. I don't know how, but she made it happen so that I could get "worked" in that same day. I guess it was Thursday.

The nurse practitioner now suspects Bi-Polar, based on the manic/ mixed episode symptoms I had while taking and after coming off the Lexapro. She doesn't want to change the official diagnosis until we visit a couple more times, I guess. She started me on Gabapentin? (Neurontin) to help with the anxiety, insomnia, and is supposedly a starter associated with mood stabilization "off label" for bi-polar. No other med, as she wants to see how it affects me. She started me on the lower dose of 100mg.

So, I have taken this med 2 nights so far. The side effects and reviews that I researched on this new med states that most folks have issues with feeling drowsy, and dragging. not me, apparently. If anything, it did not really do much either night.

I will say this, and it bothers me a little, because it is not a common side effect. yesterday am when I woke up, I found myself VERY anxious and within an hour, I just couldn't sit still any longer. I figured I would go shop for a couple new blouses for this new job. I went to the mall, of all places. I really don't like going to the mall. I don't like the crowds, but I went early in the am. I then experienced a full-blown MANIA episode, I know it now.

I now know what that feels like now, and frankly, at the time I was actually enjoying it and scared at the same time. I tell you what, I clocked a full days worth of steps in like 3 hours (10,093 according to Samsung Health), found a perfume fragrance that I could never afford at the moment, but was REALLY feeling like...I HAVE TO HAVE THIS STUFF and it took everything I had to not impulsively buy it on my card. I became temporarily, like obsessed with it. WEIRD.

Then, after 4 hours I had completely worn myself out and started to crash. All I wanted to do was go home and crash. I became slightly agitated, but kept my cool.

I took my 2nd dose last night, and yet, still so wired up and exhausted at the same time, I couldn't fall asleep and this morning, up at 530a....I am going today with probably 4 or 4.5 hours sleep. This morning I just feel like I didn't sleep. My eyes hurt. I am concerned.

So was the mania induced by a first time low dose of this stuff, or did it just activate or boost an already existing hypomanic mixed episode that the doc seems to think??