Discussed this in therapy today and it's possible there was more going on here than I appreciated at the time. I do yoga because I have been tense and closed off from my body my whole life, to the point where this is actually physically taking a toll on my body which is tight and losing physical flexibility, as well as stress levels. I need to be able to relax my mind and body and be more mindful within my body. But naturally this isn't easy for me and therefore brings me up against my own defence mechanisms and vulnerabilities. For example I find if I do really let go, even for a second, I immediately feel panic and often startle, and there are parts of my body feeling too much awareness of can actually be very triggering for me, and certain positions can also make me feel exposed and even unsafe, so I have to tread carefully. All the same to get through these would overall be a positive process, but it is understandable that it isn't going to be an easy ride and that last session was an example of that. One interesting fact that I hadn't paid attention to at the time was when the yoga instructor reached out to touch my shoulder because I was crying I didn't flinch or back away, which would be my usual reaction. This was a sign that my defences were down, obviously that felt uncomfortable and scary but at the same time you could also see it as a sort of progress; in therapy progress doesn't always equate to feeling 'better', sometimes you feel a lot worse because you are moving into uncharted waters or letting go of decades of defence mechanisms and maladaptive coping strategies. It's like a crab that has outgrown its skin and has to shed it in order to grow a larger one, but once the old skin is shed for a while it's more exposed and vulnerable.