You are not asking too much. You are asking for what you need. If you need to have more frequent contact, that is the real need, whether you are testing him or not. I actually don't necessarily see it as a test. If it's true that you have what your therapist calls a "relational trauma" (which is something, I believe, everyone has to some degree) then your need for attention and connection is much higher than that of those who were fortunate enough to receive enough of it in their formative years. This is the real need that has to be satisfied one way or another, not only through a therapy relationship.

I don't like seeing something as natural as the need for genuine human contact as a "testing" strategy because that suggests that the person's request to fulfill their natural needs is pathological, which it isn't. Whether the need can be satisfied or not is a different story, but I highly recommend you not to look at your needs (and yourself) in pathological terms. There is nothing pathological about them. They are natural and healthy.

You have the right to ask the therapist to change the boundary and it's okay to do so. Now, it's also okay for the therapist to refuse to make a change. What would not be okay for him to do is to suggest that your need for a change is not healthy and is a "problem" you need to work on. If he makes such suggestion I strongly urge you not to accept it as a fact of reality.

If the therapist doesn't want to change the boundary, he is within his rights to refuse, but he should make it clear that such change doesn't work for him, that this is something he doesn't need to have in his life. He shouldn't make it about you.

This type of a situation is one of the reasons why psychotherapy has a potential to harm regardless of the individual therapist's ethics and intentions. People with a traumatic history have a much bigger need for validating and empathetic human interactions than everybody else and, in order for them to heal, that need has to be fulfilled to a large extend. The current model of psychotherapy doesn't allow for that to happen. When therapy takes place in a small private setting when one therapist works with many clients one-on-one, the therapist cannot possibly satisfy the clients natural need for contact and communication because the therapist has their human limits. That's why I believe therapy should take place in a much bigger settings like a clinic or a wellness center that operates with a 24/7 hotline and that always has someone available for one to talk to when one's regular therapist is on vacation or when one needs to talk on weekends or after the therapist's business hours.

Back to your situation, you can ask your therapist if he'd be willing to do phone sessions on weekends sometimes, but you have to be prepared to pay for them. This may not be what you want. It sounds like you want just to feel connected to him in between sessions. If you can be satisfied with a brief email or phone interactions (within 5 minutes) just to feel connected, ask the therapist if he can do that. But if that leads you to want more and more interactions outside sessions, then it'd be a time for you to discuss your loneliness in therapy, your need for close friendships where you can be seen and validated. It'd be a time for your therapist to work with you on how to get that type of relationships in your life, as opposed to trying to turn your relationship with the therapist into something like that, which would be an ultimate failure.