Spent the whole night last night at the ER with BF. Again. Same symptoms as 2 weeks ago (like an out of control anxiety, high agitation, psychotic break kind of thing). And there was the psych ER place less than a week ago as well. Things are clearly out of hand. I requested we go to the psych ER when the ambulance came, but they were not accepting patients, so we had to go to the regular one ---- and in the midst of writing this -- he just asked to go again (at least he's lucid now).

So resuming writing, I am there. But will be leaving once he gets in. He has said he doesn't want to put me through more after last night (which wore me down to overwhelmed tears after being up for 24 hours and hours trying to keep his agitation from harming -- like hold, " no, you cannot get up". Then 15 seconds later again. And again and again). He had refused to talk to a pdoc last night. He has reconsidered, even though he thinks there is no help for him.

I'm at my wits end.