Hi 1soslow,
Thanks for the book recommendation-it sounds as though it might be useful to me too.Do you have the name of the author?

I'm glad that you are feeling a bit more settled about things and that you now know more about how your friend feels.Goodness knows why she couldn't tell you directly though,rather than post it on a public forum.Strangely enough,not telling the truth was also an issue in my situation with my friend and she said the exact same thing as your friend did-that she lied "so as not to hurt me".I don't see the logic on that one at all.

I'm still sruggling with my situation.I think that's probably because my friend's behaviour changed when she became ill so I always wonder whether I should "blame" her for it,and whether the person I once knew must still be there somewhere.Not that either of these things make her actions any less hurtful but I've recently been seeing how I handled some things badly and thinking over that