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Old Jun 18, 2018, 03:42 AM
koru_kiwi's Avatar
koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 672
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaVicar? View Post
I keep talking about this with my T. Every time there's a break, inconsistency or even lack of attunement, it's back to square one. I get reminded about my past and my developed reactions to disappointment, I get reminded that he is 'human' after all but I also feel as though I am continuously replaying this torturous love/rejection pattern. I fail to see how therapy can help with this and I feel very angry that I was encouraged to open up and trust the 'process' - yes, this reflects my past but how is it different, how does the outcome change so that my heart and faith in humanity remains intact?
this was my exact dilemma too with trying to work on the attachment with my ex-T. plus the fact that my trust was always jeopardised because of his lack of continuous consistency. as i stated prior, i just could not fathom how i was suppose to heal my deep attachment wounds when the relationship with my T was nothing more than, as you so perfectly stated, 'replaying a torturous love/rejection pattern'. and each time i doubted and challenge my T on this very topic, he got to play the 'i'm only human card' while i got assigned 'you are the broken wounded soul who is suppose to be figuring out how to fix this dilemma with what little i offer you'. that is one reason why i asked if my husband could start coming to my sessions and be more involved. if i could not get those needs met by my T, at least he could help my husband and me figure out how to address meeting those needs of mine together.
Hugs from:
SalingerEsme
Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear, SalingerEsme, TeaVicar?