Linehan talks about a 'paradoxical strategy' - but about how she decided to refrain from calling it that out of fear that a therapist would misunderstand it and actually suggest to a patient that they kill themself (as a strategy for preventing it).

It isn't appropriate for a therapist to encourage suicide.

But I can see how a therapist might well say (appropriately) that they understand that the person wants to die. That they understand that yes, things do seem that bad. That they could understand if the person killed themself.

That isn't to condone it. That isn't to suggest that the person do it. That isn't to encourage the person to do it.

It is just to express empathy for the client feeling like suicide is looking fairly appealling.

I would imagine that it would be most appropriately said in a context where a therapist had tried to get the client focusing on good / pleasant things in their life and the client had decided they wanted to convince the therapist that no, things really are THAT BAD.

So I can see it being an understandable strategy (at times - used appropriately).

But your loaning her money? She should NEVER have asked you to do that.