If it is taking you a long time to calm down, you may not have the best coping/resolution/stress management patterns... for lack of better terms. Everyone's method for coming to a personal resolution and release of whatever caused their negative feelings at hand is different. and some problems need different types of management for their stress. Some people have one go to thing to relieve stress (like my fiance with video games) and some people have multiple/many activities... and some need a little time, some need more. There's meditation and mindfulness, exercise or other activities that utilize the body, going outdoors and into nature, creative and intellectual activities like drawing, coloring, reading, writing, music, learning about something of interest... the list goes on and on.

You should try different things and see what you like if you aren't particularly sure.

For me, activities aren't a magic fix. They are a break and an opprotunity to say I can and should put this problem or these emotions or this stress on pause, that is OK. The reason that helps is while focusing on the activity and letting some time pass with your mind at least mostly off the issue, you are giving yourself the chance for your emotions to stabilize. Then you are better set up to successfully come to a resolution, acceptance, etc. for whatever is going on.

If I start doing an activity when I am not calm I remain tense and.. just.. off a bit while I do it. It's kind of hard to be feeling 100% good when you began the activity stressed. However as I get through the activity my mind slowly drifts more towards what is at hand and farther from the emotional state of mind I started in. By the time I am done, I am in a much better place to manage the problem or feelings.

I'd also like to mention that for me, achieving calm and peace in my life required changing myself and my negative thought patterns at their very foundations.

But having things to occupy my mind are a huge help sometimes.

My activities for those tense moments are cleaning and doing something for someone (like a task, errand, shopping for a gift, ANYTHING for them because it means my mind is on that person, not me). Then of course the more indulgent, less productive 'activities' like ordering something yummy, taking an untimely nap, or sitting online/at the tv for 3 hours and so on. Those are certainly not suggestions, I am just being honest that not every activity I do to calm down or just relax is creative or productive.