Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel1562
Has anyone ever lost a part? And if so were you able to get it/her/him back?
My part that I name Happy Homemaker--what she calls herself I don't know since she is not available--went away over ten years ago. She used to organize everything in the household, made schedules, menus, enjoyed cooking,did the shopping, made a budget and paid bills and stuff like that. She loved that kind of stuff. She also sewed and enjoyed it. She did the taxes and had a lot of confidence. I miss her. She used to take care of us.
It's almost like she died. Can parts/alters die? I want her back.
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no i have never lost my alters associated with my dissociative disorders. I have lost my imaginary friends and do lose my psychosis induced alters that are a result of my other physical and mental problems like bipolar disorder, MS, and others.
Short version my dissociative alters (alters because of having dissociative disorders) were dissociative related. which means when ever I or my alters dissociated the alter who's sense of agency it was to handle what ever triggered my or my alters dissociating would take control and handle those things that I or my other alters could not handle...
Example if I or Rainy dissociated during intimacy then Thelma the alter that handled intimacy took control.
Thelma stopped taking control during intimacy when I and the other alters stopped dissociating because of intimacy. When Thelma was no longer needed to do her sense of agency she naturally integrated with me to form one whole person again.
integration wasnt this big bang process with me. it was just one day during an intimate moment I knew what to do and how to do it and it wasnt scary for me, did not trigger me any more.
I did not think wow where is thelma why isnt she here did she die, why isnt she here. it was just like any other normal human being thought of hey this is great I can do this now. everything thelma was is now me.
my suggestion is maybe instead of worrying about where this alter is. look at whether you or someone else is doing the housework, who is paying the bills, who is doing the cooking...
you said in your post this alter was not around for 10 years, you are alive and posting here so someone must be going shopping for groceries, cooking the meals and eating the meals. your posts dont say you are homeless and unless you are at a free computer access place like your library someone had to have bought you the computer you are using or found it when the need arose for a computer. someone did the taxes this past april if you have a paying job of some kind....
maybe check to see if you have anyone else who has a happy emotion where they didnt before, maybe see who is it that is actually doing these things maybe everything this alter was got doled out among not just one but rather who needed to be able to do or feel those things...
my point is you may not sense her as the whole of what she was but if things that she did like cooking, cleaning, taxes are still getting done either she is still taking control when you or your others are dissociating or what she was is now integrated with you and the other alters.
when you really think about it a human being cant go 10 years without eating a cooked meal unless they have the kind of trust fund or job that allows them to eat mcdonalds, denny, IHOP and other more upscale restaurants. the alter that did those things either has to be there still or someone else had to have taken over that sense of agency (integrated)
taxes here in america are a mandatory thing if someone is in the work force. either you do taxes and get money back or you do taxes and owe the government. and if you miss doing your taxes someone from IRS eventually catches up with you. ten years of not doing taxes well unless a person is rich and famous they dont .......Usually......allow 10 years to go by with someone not claiming their money back or gipping out the government....
my suggestion is check with the IRS and find out when the last time your taxes were done, if they say with in the past 10 years you have nothing to worry about, either that alter is still doing their part when ever you or the others dissociate or what that alter was has now been integrated into another who is doing the taxes, if you are the one now doing your taxes and know how to do them or know how to go about getting someone to do them then what that alter was is now part of you....
my point maybe doing some reality testing will get your answers. with dissociation disorders reality testing remains intact(diagnostic criteria ) check whats really going on,
just ask yourself some reality based questions like...
have I or any of the others at anything today..... the human body cant go 10 years without .....someone..... cooking and eating meals or having a feeding tube surgery.