Thank you everyone for all your responses!

I wrote my missing part a letter and I received some answers. She is/was more of an organizer part and she enjoyed and had confidence doing the things she did. She directed other parts to do jobs according to a schedule.

So the things she directed others to do they are still doing, but not on a good schedule and there is a lot of procrastination. Sandi does the dishes most of the time and she has been doing them for a long time. She also does the laundry but is not disciplined enough to fold it and put it away most of the time. But no one is exercising. The organizer was the steam in that engine. The bathrooms rarely get cleaned and the dusting and vacuuming are mostly neglected.

The one writing now does the cooking and shopping and finances, but most of the time there is no menu made and the shopping list is incomplete. We don't go shopping alone much anymore. The husband comes with us most of the time. The one writing now also does the taxes, but with no confidence, always fearful of mistakes. The one in charge now has ADHD and is unreliable.

The angry one also does things when no one else will.

I asked my parts to tell me if any of them are suppressing/fighting my organizer/caretaker part from coming out. Then she answered me. She is still here (hiding in plain sight). But she applies her organizing managing skills on other people in my life (husband, daughter). She doesn't apply it to us because Billy won't allow it. He doesn't want her to have control over us, because only he is strong enough to keep Janus from killing us. His job is keeping us alive.

I will need to talk to T about this. Maybe somehow we can convince Billy to let the organizer come out more, to do for us what she used to: bring order and discipline and get the body into shape.

i really hope Billy will let her come back. i feel so lost and Billy doesn't help around the house. sandi