Once I leave a therapist, I tend to put off seeking another one until things get really bad and I'm on the verge of a breakdown, so I tend to burst into tears the moment I open my mouth at my first and maybe second session. Then after that, I rarely, if ever, cry in front of that therapist again, and they're probably wondering what the heck happened to that emotional version of me. Have had similar experiences with doctors when seeking treatment for ongoing medical issues that interfere a great deal with my life. Sometimes I wish I could cry more, and sometimes I'm embarrassed that I ever cried in front of my therapist at all. I can never make up my mind haha. I will say I've had periods in my life when I couldn't cry at all and periods when I would cry multiple times per day, and I must prefer the latter. Needing to cry but not being able to is a truly torturous feeling.