you sound so confused and hurting. i've been on the merry-go-round of emotions this week. i came home today, i take my mom to doc and anywhere she needs to go. the minute i wanlk in the door i start this crying fit. it was loud and my mind was blak, so it does happen to all of us. i know i am new to you but you will be in my thoughts and it will get better, pj56