I can’t imagine anyone reading this and not responding. I hear depths of despair — but you’re sharing with us perhaps hoping someone can help.

I have felt like giving up in the past, but I never have and so glad I am able to say that. I always think of how sad it would be to end your life not knowing something really sweet was just waiting around the corner.

When I was younger, I had lost both my parrnts by ghe time I was 20 and I searched for fulfillment through sexual encounters. I needed lots of alcohol to behave that way. I never did find anyone through sex but I did find AA and sobriety, God, support, friends, honesty helped me to move forward in my life no matter how sad things got or how difficult life was. I had crappy jobs, crappy experiences and lots of loneliness on the road....but they led me to a great career, a long marriage, a home & family I never dreamed I could have and children who grew up and wound up becoming my best friends!!!!!

If I had given up any step along the way I would have missed out on the blessings just beyond my sight at the time. I am pretty old now, and I hope you realize that the pain I speak of was as a teen and in my 20s but guess what—we’re the same no matter our ages. And I am actually a grandma now! Who would have EVER imagined???? Certainly not me. I used to want to die! But I lived and had faith in the future God had for me and my life turned out pretty good.

It’s still not easy. I still fight depression. I have horrible days at times. I suffer losses. I hurt. But I hang on. Whenever someone takes his/her life I always think how terribly sad it was that they left their friends and families to deal with the loss and I think of how loved the person was but probably didn’t realize it.

Please don’t die. Please. You can call this nunber any time day or night and someone will listen to you and help you. You can call every day or several times a day. You can call 911 and someone will help you to stay alive too. You can call a friend, any friend, and tell them what you’re going through. If you take your own life it is because something isn’t working properly in your brain — and it can be fixed if you give someone a chance. Go to an ER and tell them you need help. Fight this. All you have to do is tell someone & let them help you. Please. I beg you. It hurts like hell now but I promise it can get better if you reach out.